Through conversations with several friends and through my own experiences, a relationship trend has emerged recently. The tendency to reach into the past and to cling to now phantasmagorical manifestations of once very much alive relationships cropped up in tandem for many in recent months. Was it the weather? The gloominess of winter whispering tricky logic into our ears? Was it a conversation or other communication that hinted at a change having taken place much grander than what actually might have occurred? Or, has this simply been the season of naive and whimsical hope in the belief that love truly does conquer-- and reform-- all? These and many other subtler factors must have simmered for a while to create a powerful concoction that dared whomever tasted its murky brew to reach out and attempt to reconnect with the apparition that is yesterday's love.
The whens, the hows, and the whys are not the topic of this post. More importantly, I think, is the what now? How does one quickly get back on track and keep it moving?
The answer is simple: just say "no"! One must make a conscious decision in one's heart to close the door and throw away the key. One must make a promise to oneself to take a stand against re-writing a chapter that will continue to end in the same way. The only way forward is FORWARD without any dilly-dallying. Chances are that, by now, the reasons for the diverging paths have been explored up-ways, down-ways, and sideways. In other words, there are very real and valid reasons the relationship is a thing of the past. Believe them. Believe them all. More than that, put the belief into action by consciously and deliberately putting the break on before coasting down a slippery slope towards unnecessary emotional drama and wasted energy. Just. Say. NO.
Belief in action is true faith. A situation such as this warrants faith in the belief that what is meant for you will reach you, and that what will reach you will be goodness intended specifically for you from The Creator. How can one receive such goodness when looking backwards? Unless you are Janus, that is a difficult feat, indeed!
I have said no, and I invite all others in similar situations to join me. It is a quiet, powerful move that depends only on one's own desires. Importantly, this decision is not conditional on what the other party brings forth whenever they desire to bring it forth. Recognize the situation for what it is, and make your decision to leave it alone.
Ask yourself if now is the time to choose the future and to live in a present unencumbered by thoughts of what has been and could be potentially be...if only. Shut the unproductive thoughts down, then stand up, and take a look around.
What you see stretching out in every direction is a universe of possibility. It is yours, and you have just said yes to it. Congratulations!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Qadira, it sounds like you have just liberated yourself. We'll have to discuss what exactly "no" means.
YESS!! we shall discuss indeed =) when are you coming to bmore next?!
Well you know I am enamored by this post and I am so glad you have decided to answer in the negative. Too often we of the fairer species have these hopes and 'what ifs?' floating around our heads like ALL the time. We see potential and we run with it as thought there's a gold medal given out the woman who can transform all those potentialities into something worthwhile. But it's not a competition and sometimes hope is just that....hope. It is definitely time to see people and situations for what is and what it's never going to be. I admire your spirit and sentiments in this entry and I'm definitely inspired to, "just say NO!"
yay! i am happy it resonated with you, too...it seems like this is a common phenomenon and the more we discuss it, the better able we are to deal with the situation when it arises. yay for solidarity and for wiping off the fog of our rose-colored lenses before we've traveled too far into the dark abyss! LOL
heart this. so true! i find i waste like 90 percent of my brain energy on what ifs and the past. good post! keep blogging girl, though i dont know how you find the time with school and whatnot:)
gotta find time for those mental health breaks...lol...which i fail at since i am averaging like 1 post/month lol. keeping hope alive to be more consistent! xXx
Post a Comment