rainy day reflections

Another Saturday rolls around and it's raining again. There is something reassuring and soothing about rainy Saturdays, maybe because I don't feel as bad about missing out on fun weekend activities due to the mounds of studying to be done. Studying or no, I would rather be comfortably at home in pj's on days like today.

The past week has been chocked full of learning, as per usual. As another week comes to a close I am left in shock once again at how quickly second year is flying by. The final exam for our first course arrives in just over a week. Wow.

While classes and small group were essentially a flashing freight train moving at the speed of light, two highlights stand out in the midst of all the craziness: pediatrics shadowing at the Pediatric Ambulatory Center housed at the School of Nursing and my physical exam teaching session.

Monday I donned the short white coat and draped my neck with my plum-colored stethoscope to attend the official physical examination teaching session with a trained "teaching associate." Until medical school, I had no idea this cadre of paid medical education personnel existed. Last year we were introduced to the paid teaching associates in the context of standardized patients. We students were tested in our patient interviewing skills with these actors given standardized chief complaints and patient histories. Our job was to extricate the clinical pearls that would hypothetically lead us to treat the patient appropriately. These actors quickly morphed into real patients as they played out the histories. The key to succeeding in these encounters was to treat it like it was real because they sure did. Two of my three encounters last year were darling patients, but one was a real piece of work. She clearly had a little too much fun playing the "difficult" patient because by the end I actually wanted to strangle her. LOL. Fortunately, the timer went off and her life was spared.

Back to the current experience...the paid actors this time were there to guide in the art and science of the head to toe physical. Initially, I felt mildly uncomfortable because the interaction seemed so skewed in its power dynamic. I could not stop myself from wondering what this person's background was, how he ended up on this particular career path. Do not get me wrong: he was amazing and knowledgeable and extremely relevant in his instruction. At the same time, my heart ached at the thought of a loved one of mine performing the job...particularly during uncomfortable maneuvers like the liver and thyroid palpations. Every time I did something that inside made me cringe a little, I couldn't stop myself from asking (perhaps to his embarrassment) "Are you okay? I'm sorry if that hurt..." His reaction seemed surprised when I expressed that, and I almost felt bad for having said anything. It just felt...right?

Outside of the above, I found the experience incredibly rewarding. We were really able to focus on elements of the exam that I had not practiced before, and that I was actually able to put into practice just two short days later when I was in the Peds Clinic. I was palpating submandibular, submental, suboccipital, supraclavicular lymph nodes (to name a few...there are sooo many), visualizing ear drums, checking reflexes, listening to heart and lung sounds, and palpating abdomens like there was no tomorrow! Surprisingly, the children were all great sports and allowed "Dr. Qadira" (as I was hilariously introduced by the doctor I was shadowing) to check them out! It is amazing how varied the clinical cases are even in the context of a primary peds clinic (where all the kids were scheduled primarily for Flumist vaccines). Goes to show there is almost *always* something going on of concern to parents and perhaps even of medical significance amongst the kiddie population. The time flew by and I left kind of high from the excitement of the four hours.

I am very excited for the clinical component of second year because I am definitely a hands-on learner.

Back to the books, I go, while the rain is still falling.

when people take themselves too seriously: graduate school student government

This Ramadan I began attending the iftars on campus regularly. After the four weeks of meeting and greeting students from other schools, faculty, and other affiliated persons, I was fingered to get more involved with the leadership of the MSSA (Muslim Students and Scholars Association...yes, ::chortle, chortle:: we are schoooolars in grad school). Now, I was nearing the end of my three-month planning for CommUNITYFest Health Fair, the project I was chairing as Community Service Chair for SNMA (Student National Medical Association...the organization for the chocolate med students and their allies)--and so not interested in taking on any more responsibility at the time. So I jumped at becoming USGA Senator for MSSA, instead of taking up a position on the Elected Board for MSSA. I thought, how bad could one meeting a month + free dinner (which is catnip for all hungry students) be? Let's just say, I was wrong.

First off, we have been in school for 2 months and have already met 4 times. One meeting/month, eh? Second off, with all of the self-aggrandizement, superciliousness, and outrageous commentary infecting the airspace in those meeting, it's always a miracle that I am able to keep down those delicious, delicious meals they feed us (fortunately, since they are very delicious & always amply proportioned). Thirdly, I am in medical school. I *always* have studying to do and *always* feel irritated when *someone else* is standing in the way of me getting that done (of course, *Qadira* standing in the way of me studying is another story altogether). The meetings have lasted, on average, 3.5 hours (minimum 3h, maximum 4.5h). ::Gag::

It is impossible to give a play by play of the appalling things I have heard during these curious gatherings, but I will share some highlights.

Latest funding meeting, where we vote on various organizations' appropriations for the semester:

* "C'mon guys, voting to halve their funding doesn't mean you hate homeless people!" (actually, in this circumstance where we were voting to fund a community service organization that feeds homeless people weekly, it kind of does)

* "The State of Maryland has more money than we do, so why don't *they* spend their money on the homeless, and we can spend ours on real services for students." (Yes, and our "real services for students" would involve sponsoring yet another booze night at the Campus Center. Top priority.)

*"Do we have anyone from the Chinese Students Association here?" (as the individual looked directly at the only Chinese student in our midst, who very well could have been from the Law Students' Association...he was lucky *this* time!)

* Question: "I don't understand how this event is relevant for other schools." (In response to an event on exploring the use of race in film...) Answer, from event organizer: "Unless you attend a school of only one race, then, yes, this event would be relevant to all schools..." (He went on to break it down in very clear, yet diplomatic words.)

*"So...let me get this straight. This was *just* a health fair?" (Woman, fellow Senator, during my funding defense of CommUNITYFest). I replied: "Actually, it is the largest, annual student-run health fair on campus that just completed its 7th year, and served over 400 Baltimore residents with critical health screenings and health information...so, yes, it was *a* health fair..."

More than the ridiculous comments and saucy attitudes, are the dynamics between the President and pretty much everyone else. To say he is on a high horse does not begin to describe just how high his horse sits. LOL. No qualms asking a question, then interrupting exactly 15 seconds later, well before the person has taken the gulp of air required to form the words to answer the question. He looooves reminding us that he is the *sole*, the *special*, the *one lucky* student on the selection committee for the new UMB campus President. He'd be like, I would like to share more information with you guys about the process and the applicants...but I can't because it's a closed process, and, you know, I'm the only student involved. ::chortle, chortle::

There is a lot of chortling. And a lot of needless ire. Are people really that irritable and testy? During this latest meeting, I found myself getting irritated and being a lot sassier than the situation really necessitated by the end of the meeting. I don't like who I become during the Senate meetings!!! haha. My friend was teasing me about my tone as I replied to the above woman's flippish question about it being "just" a health fair. lol. I need to work on keeping my cool, even when others are throwing fire at each other. It is definitely a challenge, especially when the fire comes whisking by, a little too close to one's face for comfort.

I will strive to work on that! Speaking of working, I should get back to studying these parasitic worms. Yes, they are as disgusting as they sound. Maybe even more so!

Much love! And, by this newest entry, I think it is safe to say, that I am back in the blogosphere.