mental health.

It's 1:26a on Friday morning. I am currently debating on what to do: continue with this lecture or head to bed with the hopes of making up for lost time tomorrow. While the mountain of work is large and ever-growing before next Friday's pre-spring break exam, that shall not be the topic of the present post. I am inspired to share a few words about my amazing classmates.

There are certainly times when I must retreat and work at warp speed. Then, there are times when I need the company of others; when the thought of trudging along through the night without the companionship of like-minded colleagues is overwhelming and unappealing, to say the least. There are times when, despite the incessant work that seeks to consume all in its path, one allows oneself to let go and be ridiculous...almost to spite that work that just won't quit.

Tonight was such a night. It began well-intentioned enough with four of us hunkering down in a room at school around 8:30p. The tip tapping of keyboards could be faintly heard above my earphoned opera playing. I'm not exactly sure what triggered it (probably my friend Earl...who is Trouble with a capital "T"), but the next thing I know we are all turned AWAY from our work and talking and laughing about Lord only knows what. The laughter died down after a while, and the gravity of the work before us set in once again. Maybe we were taken down off of our high by asking a sobering "quizzing" question...one or two of us realize, "Darnit! I don't remember that lecture..." And one by one, we turn around and return to our respective tasks.

Almost like clockwork, someone says something off the wall, and laughter erupts again...we all turn around and the same scene unfolds...Press repeat.

At some point in the night, things deteriorated into spontaneous laughter. Then again, that was mostly with Rani...and then again, it never takes work-induced delirium to inspire such behavior!

There is a specialness to the delirium associated with being with your friends with too much work to do. The laughter is more satisfying because it is more indulgent, daring, delicious. To laugh in the face of it all is quite satisfying indeed. Medical school can get you down if you let it, and so to have friends with whom you can act a fool, be ridiculous, and laugh at yourself, is an invaluable blessing.

An important lesson of the night: you are never too old for knock-knock jokes...ahem, Hussan.

saying yes through saying no.

Through conversations with several friends and through my own experiences, a relationship trend has emerged recently. The tendency to reach into the past and to cling to now phantasmagorical manifestations of once very much alive relationships cropped up in tandem for many in recent months. Was it the weather? The gloominess of winter whispering tricky logic into our ears? Was it a conversation or other communication that hinted at a change having taken place much grander than what actually might have occurred? Or, has this simply been the season of naive and whimsical hope in the belief that love truly does conquer-- and reform-- all? These and many other subtler factors must have simmered for a while to create a powerful concoction that dared whomever tasted its murky brew to reach out and attempt to reconnect with the apparition that is yesterday's love.

The whens, the hows, and the whys are not the topic of this post. More importantly, I think, is the what now? How does one quickly get back on track and keep it moving?

The answer is simple: just say "no"! One must make a conscious decision in one's heart to close the door and throw away the key. One must make a promise to oneself to take a stand against re-writing a chapter that will continue to end in the same way. The only way forward is FORWARD without any dilly-dallying. Chances are that, by now, the reasons for the diverging paths have been explored up-ways, down-ways, and sideways. In other words, there are very real and valid reasons the relationship is a thing of the past. Believe them. Believe them all. More than that, put the belief into action by consciously and deliberately putting the break on before coasting down a slippery slope towards unnecessary emotional drama and wasted energy. Just. Say. NO.

Belief in action is true faith. A situation such as this warrants faith in the belief that what is meant for you will reach you, and that what will reach you will be goodness intended specifically for you from The Creator. How can one receive such goodness when looking backwards? Unless you are Janus, that is a difficult feat, indeed!

I have said no, and I invite all others in similar situations to join me. It is a quiet, powerful move that depends only on one's own desires. Importantly, this decision is not conditional on what the other party brings forth whenever they desire to bring it forth. Recognize the situation for what it is, and make your decision to leave it alone.

Ask yourself if now is the time to choose the future and to live in a present unencumbered by thoughts of what has been and could be potentially be...if only. Shut the unproductive thoughts down, then stand up, and take a look around.

What you see stretching out in every direction is a universe of possibility. It is yours, and you have just said yes to it. Congratulations!